Silver And Cold

This is Ginger :3 The best kitty in Florida.


Hmm.. so... "Fred" is having more issues. Going through divorce while girlfriend is just pissing with his emotions like he's some fucking toy. He still doesn't see it. Because she says she loves him. And she says she's gonna fuck him til he loses 10 pounds after she gets here. And he's getting more depressed as the days go by. I wish I could cheer him up. And I dont want to leave him here alone for another two months. He'd wind up killing himself. Last night he said he wanted to go to a private place today and take his life. I reminded him he has those who love him and need him, like his daughter. Talking about his daughter got him to change his mind. It's safer for me to remind him of his daughter than to tell him I love him so much. He was telling me how I need to move on. And after I tried stressing he has a lot of people who love him, he said the only two people who love him are his daughter and me. So apparently he doesn't even believe that his girlfriend really loves him. He's just with her because she's hot. And "goth". She's gonna lead him to kill himself. I know it. And I dont want that to happen. if that happens, I won't be able to cope. I couldn't stand losing him. I've never been so in love with someone. He doesn't see it.

Everyone missed it. I went to Billy's to talk to Mary. Because "Fred" had pissed me off by talking to girls on the phone who weren't his girlfriend for hours on end and shit. Well, she let her feelings show. She thinks "Fred" is a fucking child molester, because of me being 18. And she is jealous of me. And she keeps calling me a child and a baby and a runaway. And she keeps telling "Fred" that he needs to send me home

I got to see a space shuttle go off. Wasn't anywhere near it. Since I'm in Orlando. And I could still see it really well from the light. "Fred" made sure I could see it.

FYI: My thoughts are all a mess due to hurting.

Got a few new fav songs. Silver and Cold by AFI. There for you by Flyleaf. And Cassie by Flyleaf.

"Fred" keeps playing songs that make me cry. Better Than Me and Lips of an Angel by Hinder. They make him cry too.

I want to stay here with him but that would mean I'd have to get a job and get my own apartment if I want to stay in school so I could transfer schools. Since I can't stay here. I'd rather stay in school. Cause I want to go to school for therapeutic massage. It'd be nice if I could just stay in palcs but they only let models stay outside of the state 95% of the year.



So. AFI - Miss Murder (Director's Cut)




AFI - Silver And Cold

Blah

Well... Since Mike wound up cheating on me, had to get the hell outta there. He denies it still. So, I let him believe that I was pissed off because of life in general. Not talking to him ever again. And I came to Orlando, where I absolutely love it. Unfortunately, I can't stay here forever. My friend, let's just call him "Fred" as a generic name, has a bunch he's got to deal with. He's way sweeter than any guy I've ever met. He's everything I could ever want in a guy. And I've always wanted a guy like him. But, "Fred" is taken. So, I'm shit outta luck in that department. And he makes a really good friend so as long as we can remain friends, I'm good with that. He gets so much shit from everyone... It's really sad. No guy as nice as him should deal with all the bullshit he's gotta deal with. Even his girlfriend gives him crap that she shouldn't. He does what he can for her and he is there when he's not busy and she makes it seem like he's never there for her. And apparently, he's not allowed to have a life outside of the internet. So many people got pissed at him for not being online much, being preoccupied. It's ridiculous.
He somehow managed to convince me to get my nipples pierced >.>;;; I was saying tongue at first. Unfortunately with that, when we went to the place to get the piercings... got the left one done, no problem. Right one? the dude fucked up and OH MY FUCKING GOD DID THAT HURT LIKE A BITCH. It brought tears to my eyes and I tried my hardest to stay still while he tried fixing his fuck up. That was pretty much not happening cause it just hurt too damn bad. I was about to scream bloody murder but he gave up trying. Thankfully.
Might get a tattoo. Small itty bitty one.

More Here Soon.

Umm...

tried to kinda get pics up. Didn't work too well. Haven't done much. Went to the beach. Got tons of salt water in my mouth and got a wee bit in my eyes. That burned. And it also massively burned my legs cause the razor I used kinda decided it wanted to give me razor burn. And. Hardly any NON-BROKEN seashells anywhere. except the itty bitty ones. I think I mighta found a sanddollar with my foot but I was freaking out because Mike said there were stingrays in the water and I was worried about crabs. Lol. crabs. x3 everything was like, pure white everywhere. When I get pics up I'll post the link. bleh.

Why's everyone dying this year? First Brandy, then Mike, now Ayame on Tynastera. She died yesterday and I woke up finding that out. So. Massive amounts of tears and such. Can people I know stop dying pl0x? I'll probably work on this later. or just make a new post. cause. I'm sleepy and tired of crying.

Rawrrr Mind's A Mess Again

Hmm... Where to start? Yesterday was possibly one of the best 4th of July's I've ever had. Like. Ever. Except there were no fireworks ;.; That was probably the worst about it. And I was only with my boyfriend and his dad's family. It was nice. but... can't beat hanging out with Foof und Foof's mum for it cause it's just lots more fun. Which, foof, I miss you guys totally lotz. und I ish all biteded up from damn mosquitos cause I was retarded and went to try looking for the alligator in the pond after the sun went down. THE ALLIGATOR IS SO CUTE! I never saw one in person like, outside of a zoo. Except dead ones. But those don't count. This alligator was like, maybe 2.5 ft to 3ft long? and so adorable. And he was swimming around with the herring and the turtles. and of course the fishies, which the herring caught one of demn. I is gonna put pictures up somewhere at some point when I get around to it if I get to it before I get home. Mike's Aunt Judy and Uncle Mark have like, one of the bestest houses I've ever been in. Everything's too fancy shmancy down here ._. makes me feel even more poor. Of course they have a pool and a hot tub. I lovededed both of dem. swam in the pool for a good number of hours. Even when it was storming. took pictures of the turtles and the birdy stickin his head out of the water and the alligator too. Seems everyone down here has ribs and brautworst or whatnot down here for the 4th. I ated some ribs, hotdogs, meatballs, and some kinda desert with noodles, whip cream, and fruit in it. It was really good. Reminded me of my mom's five cup fruit salad. Met Lacey(Cousin of some sort?), Ken(Mike's dad who I met on father's day), Rachel(Judy's daughter), Judy(aunt), Mark(uncle), Kaitlin(Rachel's daughter), Justin(Rachel's son), Trace(Mike's awesome stepmom who is great), and a bunch of other people who didn't introduce themselves even though everyone knew my name ._. Whut else... OH I looked at the HUGE koi fishies in the koi pond that mark built himself. he's a contractor of some sort. There were like, maybe two koi that were somewhat normal size? the rest were fucking bigger than my ARM! I takededed pictures. I was all excited when they played a song I knew, Date Rape by Sublime >.>;;;;;; I sungeded it in the pool. Mike didn't swim much. Kids LOVE him. he got in the pool for a bit but then the kids kinda made him swim around with them on his back after he was just swimming around the bottom of the pool. And he got a headache and his ear buggededed him. And he put two of them floaty thingies to lay on together to make a 'monster boat'. The little kids had so much fun with him. I dont know all the kids though cause Justin only told me his name and his baby sister's name since I was talking to him and had been playing with his baby sister. She's adorable. And the little kids got grodied out when me and mike pecked on the lips so I swam away x3 Anywho! So, after all the little kiddies got out of the pool, I bugged him to get off the touch screen laptop to get back in the pool for a bit and gave him lotsa huggles and he told me that lacey kinda ruined his mood by bugging him about staying longer than 10 and to drink and stuff. I got asked twice to drink alcohol yesterday <.<>.> so I missed out on booze. But back to pool story <.<>

Mike neglects me when he's got his friend shaun around so I just live on his computer on days like that. It gets me kinda depressed. Then after Shaun leaves, Mike remembers my existance. Guess I can't expect to have him remember I'm here all the time even though I like to be included in things so I'm not always living on the computer.

Father's day we had gone to mike's dad's. I tried calling my dad, but he refused to answer and now he's not even replying to my emails after canceling the child support, which mom was going to send me some money from. So, effe him. But anywho, back to mike's dad's. There I met Ken and Trace, then trace's family, Mary, Ashley, Tobi, and for some reason I can't remember everyone else who was there. Tobi was nice and so was mary. Ashley was kinda too hyper. >.> But she did get me a milkshake from Mickey D's so I can't complain x3 Trace made sure to make some nice dark hotdogs :D And I nommed on broccoli and carrots and cucumbers. They went through all the pictures they had on SD cards. In one, mike had one of them beards that are just the outline of one's face x3 it was so cute. Und there was a picture of him blowing out candles on a cake and another one was his picture of a beach he made out of M&M's x3 the rest were of Trace&Ken and her family. >.> then they showed pictures of their property up in Tennessee. Ken has an expensive place too. And his grass looks fake. Even though it's real. It's so thick. And he's got a big cute doggy that's old x3 Hunter I think his name is? Hunter loves mike but doesn't like me too much >.>; and Ken's got a pool and hot tub too <.<>

Then shortly after father's day, I got to meet the grandparents :D Dorothy and Edward. Very nice old folks ^^ I think Dorothy's 83 and Edward's seventy something. We played uno that day. Mike was winning at first then me and Dorothy brought him to last place x3 It was great. Lotsa fun. Edward is the funniest old man one could meet I think. That day I found out my birthday is the same as mike's dad. We had Shephard's pie and it was soooooooooo good.

A week later, we went there again, and found out it was Sarah's birthday. Sarah is Dorothy's 56 year old daughter. Very energetic lady that acts like she's still a teenager. And talks really loud. But she's nice. She got a microwave for her birthday and two cards while we were there. It'd be nice to still get birthday presents when that old. My dad stopped buying me presents. Mom does what she can. Back to the gparents house, we had boiled dinner. It was boiled cabbage, turnips, potatoes, onions and carrots with some ham. I actually ate the cabbage for once. the food was sooo good. For dessert they had carrot cake, for Sarah's birthday. But I couldn't eat it because it had walnuts in it. So I got settled with fudge ice cream. Vanilla Ice Cream with thick fudge swirls and bits of fudge brownie in it. So good. I was glad I got ice ream instead of carrot cake. Everywhere we go, everyone knows to make a ton for Mike <.<;; he eats a lot and is still in good shape. Oh! And as for the house, it's really cute. Lotsa space in it, one floor. In the backyard, sometimes it floods and they get alligators wanderin around. I love the master bathroom <.<>

I'm hoping I get to go over Judy's house again. I know we'll be going over Dorothy and Edward's this week cause he goes over weekly. Mike never wants to drive anywhere except to see family really >.> I'm gonna try talking him into getting subway on his next day off. cause I love subway and don't like quiznos. Still no beach yet. Maybe the day we go to the beach would be a good day to talk him into getting subway. Dunno. We'll have to see. I think I ran outta stuff to talk about. Mike's been playing Metroid Prime 2 Echoes whenever he's not working on his game he's making. He's been working on that forever. Not much for me to do because nothing's within walking distance really. So I just sit around either on his computer or snoozin on his bed or chasing kelly the kitty around with a string. she's a good kitty. Imma go grab some food and if I think of anything else I'll post again.